Sometimes, You’re NOT “Fine”

Many conversations start with the question of “How are you?” And most people reply with a lie that is short and simple “I’m fine”. In reality, You’re everything else but… Fine!


This is such a common occurrence for people struggling through mental health problems or chronic illnesses. It’s so much easier to just say, “I’m fine” than having to open up and release your true feelings. The type of feelings that eat at you on a daily basis, the ones that feel like they’re impossible to let out. Chronic illnesses and mental illnesses tend to go hand in hand, you can only deal with so much before you start getting depressed. The words are so hard to get out because we live in a society where a lot of people ultimately believes that someone is weak, seeking attention, and/or make cruel judgements on those who suffer from mental illness. This is why so many resort to suicide, you can only be silenced and suffer in pain for so long! Everyone deserves someone to talk to. Now, I’m not saying to vent out your whole life story to everyone you meet. I’m only saying that maybe if mental illness was more accepted as a real issue and not something that you can just get over” whenever you want to than more people would be alive today. 

Always be kind to others, you never really know what kind of battles they go through alone. 

For everyone who has been down this road or is going through it now, please know that you are loved, wanted, and there is always someone there that you can talk to. That person is me! I will help those who need it, in any way possible. 

You have to make it through the dark times to get to the light!

If you’re having trouble talking to friends or family members about what’s going on, please consider counseling. I never thought me telling my emotional struggles to someone (that I don’t even know) would ever be beneficial. To my surprise, it did help a lot. If it’s not for you personally than that’s okay too! Expressing your feelings in a journal is a more personal and private way of getting it out, if talking about it isn’t doing much for you.

There are some natural remedies you could try that have helped me get through hard times while dealing with depression and anxiety. I always try to keep my mind busy now and that has really worked wonders for me.

  • Try to relax: Taking a warm bubble bath with music has always helped ease my mind.
  • Music: Listening to songs that are upbeat and lifting seem to also help when I’m down.
  • Reading: Reading has helped me a lot at times. Focusing on something else to distract my mind.
  • Writing: This is especially a good technique for those who have trouble verbally venting their feelings. You can use a journal to release your personal feelings or even write blogs!
  • Bananas: I’ve read that eating Bananas tend to boost serotonin levels. Serotonin is thought to be responsible for regulating sleep, moods, and the thought process. It’s worth a try!
  • Try to focus on the positive: This has helped me a lot! While, it’s not easy to just forget about what’s going wrong in life, thinking about what went right is very important. I always try to remind myself that things could always be worse and to remind myself there’s always something to be grateful for.

Those were just a few ideas of things that could help ease the depression and elevate your mood. It may not work for everyone but I have personally found them helpful. So, I figured it’s worth a try for anyone else.

Also, to those of you that know someone going through mental illness please always be there for them, even it seems as if they’re pushing you away (which is one major sign of it). Just talking to them could save their life. Just so they know someone actually cares!
No one wants to be depressed or to deal with such a serious illness that alters everything about you. Please don’t ever see it as attention seeking behavior, they just need a friend and need to know someone cares. It takes minimal effort to be a decent person and talk to those who need it. To you it may be such a simple gesture but to them, it may mean the world. Please love and accept your friends and family that go through such difficult times. 

If you or anyone you know are having suicidal thoughts because there’s no one to talk to or are going through hard times. Please think about reaching out to the “National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1800-273-8255”. That hotline is open 24 hours in the US.

•Introduction of ME•

As each year approaches to an end, many people try to come up with a New Years resolution. 

For instance, maybe you want to:

  • Loose weight and eat more healthy.
  • Regain contact with family members or friends that you’ve became distant with.
  • Maybe you want to quit smoking or cut out the caffeine. Or, any other habit that has formed.

As for me, I just want to help other people. I want to raise awareness on issues that aren’t discussed as much as they should be. Some of the things I want to discuss consist of Mental health, living with a rare Chronic illness or just chronic illness in general, and dealing with the loss of a loved one and feelings that you may be experiencing. I also want to touch base of several other topics that are a huge part of my life such as my unconditional love and appreciation of my children and loved ones. Also, my love of hair, make up, and beauty products. As well as some all natural products that may help with your health! I have so many things that I’m ecstatic to discuss with you all.

All of the topics I have mentioned, I deal with on a personal level. You see, I have a rare connective tissue disorder called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Have you ever seen the contortionists in the circus (the ones who can do all sorts of unbelievable tricks with their bodies and are very “double jointed”) with the stretchy skin? .. Well, they more than likely have a connective tissue disorder. There is no cure, it’s a genetic disorder that I was born with. I also struggle with Fibromyalgia and Chronic fatigue syndrome. Not to mention, many other problems that it causes for my body. Since Ehlers Danlos is a connective tissue disorder and my bodys collagen is defected it causes a disaster inside my body. The best way I can describe it is feeling like your joints are like worn out rubber bands. They hyperextend and dislocate, the ligaments and tendons don’t hold them tightly like they should. It’s extremely painful when you dislocate your joints on a daily basis and not to mention all the hyperextending causes early onset of osteo-arthritis from them moving beyond normal limits. The same goes for organs, they tend to go beyond normal limits as well. Organs are bound to prolapse as well. My skin is stretchy and takes a long time to heal. Surgeries tend to have a lot of post-op issues, such as infections forming due to having a poor healing process. It has caused gastrointestinal, reproductive, urinary tract, muscular, skin, joint, and other organ issues. As you can imagine, this has created a lot of physical pain throughout my life and since it’s a rare condition I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 23. Many individuals with rare disorders have had to wait much longer. People with Ehlers Danlos and other invisible illnesses are thought to have hypochondria- I went most of my life with people making statements that “nothing is wrong with her” or “she just blows things out of proportion”.  What a horrible feeling! I guess it’s hard for those around you to believe something is seriously wrong when you look healthy on the outside. Those around me also didn’t understand how some days I could be happy and painfree and other days I wouldn’t be able to barely move. When I was finally diagnosed, it was bittersweet like I was glad I knew what it was and why my body wasn’t normal like others but very sad that there is no cure and I’ve already had my two precious little girls. Inheriting it is a 50% chance, this has been the most terrifying part. I want to protect my children. 


Dealing with Ehlers Danlos all of my life has caused a wide range of feelings and it has especially caused a large amount of physical pain. Meanwhile, also dealing with the emotional part as well. I have had a lot of anxiety and depression, it’s a daily struggle between the two. I can’t tell which is worse between the mental health or the physical pain. In the end, they both can make you feel hopeless, worthless, and have you wanting to give up. Having physical and emotional pain together is feeling as if you’re stuck underwater and drowning- you keep trying to come up for air but, when you try your very best to come up… you just end up going deeper and deeper down. 


I’ve also lost my idol, a woman I spent so much of my life with. She was everything to me. Throughout my life, I always wanted to be just like her. She was my Grandmother! She is who molded me into who I am today with so much of her love, comfort, and caring nature. I’ve never met anyone like her. She passed away unexpectedly on New Years Eve 2016. It’s been a year and two days but feels like eternity. I’m not so sure how I made it through this past year but I did. Loosing someone you love so much and had such a bond with is really indescribable. It’s an unbearable amount of pain and the heart and mind feels like it’s just shattered. I lost a part of me that night, I’m not so sure if I’ll ever get that piece of me back. The loss in itself has changed my whole outlook on life and now that it’s been over a year, I’m coming to terms with acceptance of it. I went through many stages of grief before I got to this point. While, I’m very grateful she didn’t experience suffering and pain for months/years, I still wasn’t ready to let go. I’m pretty sure, I never would’ve been ready. 

If there’s anything in particular that I really want in life, it is to help others through rough times like these which is what inspired me to start blogging. I figured, if I could help one person than I made a change in the world and turn my negative and hard times into something positive. I don’t want others to feel alone and helpless just like I did. Change will come and it’s a battle in the meantime but it will get better. It takes time, patience, and help from others. Not everyone will understand, especially if they’ve never experienced it personally. The judgemental and cold hearted people are who you need to avoid during these times. They will only bring you more … pain. 


I’ve been wanting to blog for over two years and finally have worked up the courage to do it. I really hope my readers will be able to connect with my blogs and feel as if they finally have someone who understands them and can relate. I couldn’t put every single topic I want to write about on here but I did put the main ones. I will be writing a variety of blogs dealing with life in general. I also will blog on other topics that come to mind that may be interesting. 

I hope you enjoy! Thank you for reading my introduction. 

-Ashley